Rioter jailed…for over 1,800 years!

It’s a year on from the riots that swept across the country and some interesting statistics have been released.

A total of 1,292 naughty boys and girls have been jailed for their part in the riots, out of over 3,000 prosecuted. The average custodial sentence was 16.8 months, four times higher than the average term dished out for similar crimes under ‘normal’ circumstances. Unfortunately, the judges were sooo hyped by the headlines, that they dished out a sentence of 1,808 years to an unlucky 13-year-old Facebook-using hoodlum from Stow-on-the-Wold.

‘ang about sarge, they’ve got a banging knicker selection

If Twitter was anything to go by at the time, bored 20-something students were going to enter into an unusual pact with the country’s most notorious firm – ‘The Daily Mail Hit Squad’ – to take it to the scruffy ruffians taking part in the burnin’ an’ a lootin’.  Others predicted that millions of cops were gunna get murked. It was a nonevent on both sides.

But a man was jailed for 16 months for stealing an ice cream, taking just one lick before he was nabbed. Why wasn’t he as opportunistic as the other looters, why didn’t he finish the whole damn thing?! He doesn’t like coffee flavour. He wanted double choc chip.

A bloke also stole a single Nike Air Force 1 trainer in Slough. Apparently Pauline from down the road got the other one before him. Gutted.

5 thoughts on “Rioter jailed…for over 1,800 years!

  1. Just one thing : There was not a sentence handed down to one individual of 1800 years, that is the cumulative amount of time of all riot sentences added together.

    • 2 Friends of mine lost their flat and all their possession in Ealing when it was burnt out in the riots and I feel no sympathy for the scum that got the average 16.5 months and yes, Troll Alert , I am a magistrate on teh West London bench. I suppose living out in Hereford you don’t have face teh threat of 1,000s of scum bags burning your place down?

  2. Adam,
    Unfortunatly the judicial system that you so proudly refer to is one of the causes of peoples anger. Magistrates, police, judges, prison officers and the rest of you could also be refered to as scum. Scum that do the dirty work for the powers that be. Scum that dish out violence of another kind, concentrated on the victims of this faux-democracy called capitalism. There can be no excuse for burning down inoccent peoples homes, but there are plenty of reasons for it happening.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *