Mark Harper, MP for … hahahahaha … MP for the Forest of Dean has broken his foot after falling off a table. Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
The 43-year-old had been table dancing in a Soho bar—and he insists he definitely wasn’t doing anything he shouldn’t have been—when he fell to the floor earlier this month. Oh our aching sides!
The thought of a Tory MP thrusting his nether regions around on a table top is more than enough to curdle yer milk. Thankfully we can think of him falling over and making a right tit out of himself instead.
Perhaps next time he goes dancing he’ll take Jesse Norman with him.