Dippy Leominster man wants to be your leader

Do you ever wake up in the morning and think ‘fuck me, I really wish I could find someone to boss me around’? Well today (and probably tomorrow, and the day after that … and the rest of time until he gives up on the idea) is your lucky day, my friend.

Gary Dipper did a wet dream and it basically looked like this

Gary Dipper did a wet dream and it basically looked like this

Because a Leominster man has been watching TV. And he wants to start a business!

Gary Dipper is looking for ‘like-minded individuals’ (minions) to help set up a community cooperative pub.

“I’ve seen TV programmes on community-run shops and pubs which appealed to me.

“I find that few people want to actually start something up and manage it – but I’m a natural born leader so I would like to organise groups.”

Fucking get in, he’s come to save us! All these years we’ve not had any natural born leaders to organise things for us. What a pickle we’ve been in. But now Gary’s here! Allahu Akbar!

Regular readers of the Hereford Journal will recognise his name. He’s the borderline far-right little-Englander who writes to the letters page almost every week—usually after one too many Daily Mail shandies—whining on about the EU, immigration, capital punishment, taxes etc. (you know the score).

Our guess is he’s been watching too much of his new epic boxset ‘Nigel Farage Goes to the Pub’ and wants in on a piece of the action.

Don’t expect to get paid for working for Mr Dippy’s new business though, he’s looking for volunteers.

Fuck that.

10 thoughts on “Dippy Leominster man wants to be your leader

    • Paul, anyone with a sense of humor, muslim or otherwise, would be fine using this phrase to ridicule a clueless bigot like Dipper. The bloke is a tit, have you read the shit he comes out with?

  1. I hope that’s some dead-pan humour, Paul. Saying Allahu Akbar isn’t offensive to anyone, no matter what language it’s said in.

  2. You’re not alone, there is a councillor in the next town to us (a couple of miles away) who was Tory for god knows how many years then, he was convicted, along with his brother, of safety offences over flats they rented out. Book thrown at them, he was thrown out of the Tory party only to sign up to UKIP! And, he’s continued to get his name or photo in the local rag every week!

  3. This man does not seem to be of sound mind.
    I wouldn’t mind being a minion I suppose if indeed I lived anywhere near Leominster (err no) and if I didn’t mind working for free(unsurprisingly no again)

    Also Allahu Akhbar is not offensive. It means god is great. Perhaps on this occasion praise is offered for providing a visionary leader to organise a community pub.
    Although, I would think this particular venture may be frowned upon by the Islamic community given their views of the imbibation of beverages of an alchoholic disposition.

  4. I do urge you all to read the 2010 UKIP manifesto before writing such comments. Mr Farage has improved his public persona no end over the last few years due to considerable effort on his part, and compared with the throughly discredited main parties, Ukip brings a real choice for the voter. As I say, go to their website and read the last manifesto….no-one with common sense could do anything other than agree with it for the most part. Would you constantly re-employ a builder who has been shown to be dishonest and inept, andconsequently sacked time and time again- so why vote for the main parties? You won’t change the country without voting, so please take a look, and see what you think

    • Nigel Farage’s persona is irrelevant really. But I did read a little manifesto-lite of theirs recently and what struck me most was they appeared to be promising the earth: increasing investment and spending in nearly every area (all the vote-winners) yet they also seemed to be cutting taxes and national income in general. In a time of economic stability you would wonder how they would be able to balance the books, but stated against a backdrop of recession and debt as it was you could basically dismiss it as fantastical bullshit they would never be able to follow through on if ever elected (see: Liberal Democrats).

      And that doesn’t even take into account their odious political ideology.

  5. I’m writing this letter from beautiful Australia where I live.
    S***, Gary Dipper is my long lost cousin.
    I haven’t seen him for about 49 years.
    He’s a ugly looking guy ,adopted ?
    Tenbury Wells not good enough for Gary.?
    Hope I spelt Tenbury correctly.
    Where the f*** is Tenbury Wells?
    Do any Welsh people live in tenbury wells ?
    Gary must be a Chelsea supporter.
    All Aussie men drink beer and support Man United.
    Australia will win the Ashes.
    Does Tenbury Wells have a soccer team.?
    Gary would make a great right winger.
    I have just realised that the article I have just read is about years old.
    It must be the stourport-on-severn blood in me.
    Where is stourport-on-severn?

  6. Gary Dipper has always been one or two sandwiches short of a picnic

    Nice enough guy but he’s a bit of a loony… I went to school with him

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