Cameron and Norman in pissed-up fisticuffs

The Houses of Parliament last night became a scene of grab-a-cider-and-a-seat-and-enjoy-the-match hilarity as prime minister and toff, David Cameron squared up to Hereford MP and toff, Jesse Norman.

The morning after the night before: Norman and Wiggin put on the awkward smiles as Mrs Windsor arrives in Hereford

The fisticuffs occurred after Norman had organised a rebellion against the government’s House of Lords reform bill, sending out an email urging MPs to defy the prime minister.

Insiders in the Houses of Parliament said that Cameron, having discovered this, made a beeline for the Hereford MP, confronting him aggressively, pointing and poking.

Minutes later, four Tory whips – which included Leominster pickpocket, Bill Wiggin – sought out Norman in a parliamentary bar and told him in no uncertain terms to get off the property. Norman, who was reportedly under the influence, agreed.

Ohhhhhhhh, heeeeee haaaaaa, how our sides ache! What could be better than watching our very own Jesse Norman and David Cameron become better acquainted! The money we would pay to see them – and Bill Wiggin as well! – kicking each other all over the palace floors … well, it’s at least a tenner!

May we wish for the crack between arse and arse licker to grow ever wider, the feud to grow in hate and intensity and that someone can get a camera on it next time! (And if Eric Joyce could be thrown into the mix too we’d be grateful. Thanks.)

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