Bread and circuses

If you’ve been living under the stairs for the last 17 days, it’s safe to come out now: normal recessionary service has been resumed across the country and the threat of a serious national epidemic of olympio-mylitis has been averted. The shouty man on the telly has reverted to decibel levels below the pain threshold.

Mervyn King, the shitty bankers’ owl-eyed apologist, and George Osborne could never have imagined in their wildest wet dreams that the London olympics would be their salvation. Growth figures remain parked firmly at 0%, high street bankruptcies hit 10% and the Lib-Con marriage is headed for the divorce courts. Yet for more than a fortnight the nation has been fixated about Jennifer Ennis’s waistline and whether Bradley Wiggins’ velodrome speed would have been improved if he’d shorn off those legendary sideburns. Tens of thousands have fled the civil war in Syria; Ethiopia and Somalia are experiencing their worst drought in 60 years, and in one Kenyan refugee camp alone, over one-third of a million people are stranded, waiting for the rains. But the media moguls fed us with olympic pap and PR froth.

The pub bores are back onto the seemingly endless topic of footy transfer fees and national newspapers have almost reverted to printing actual news on their front pages, instead of Jamaican athletes posing as medieval archers. Medal mania – and the sub-culture of medal micro-analysis (how many of the women’s underwater taekwondo squads were born in Yorkshire?) – are gone forever. Or at least for four years.

But perhaps the best news of all for us Olympian Deniers is that in the parliamentary recess, Justice Minister Fatty Clarke intends to introduce emergency legislation making it a criminal offence (with a mandatory custodial sentence) to utter the word ‘legacy’ in public.


3 thoughts on “Bread and circuses

  1. Oh bore off! Your Anti-Everything rants are starting to get a little tiresome. Just accept that the majority of the the wonderful country in which you live actually enjoyed the spectacle and I think we did a pretty good job with the world’s spotlight on us.

    Yes, we are still in recession and the economy is in the toilet, yes Cameron and his circus are totally incompetent at running this country and yes there are still atrocities such as war, famine and genocide occurring around the world. But for two weeks, we were able to live in cloud-cuckoo land and put all this horrible stuff to the back of our minds. Are we monsters for doing this? I don’t really think so. It’s nice to escape reality once in a while (I’m sure you do it) and this was it.

    Despite the astronomical costs of hosting the Olympics, deep down it was worth it. Bollocks – we’re pretty fucked anyway so we may as well go out in style!

    Just accept there’s enough dissatisfaction without you trendy so-called Anarchists making it worse than it really is and deep down you know you’d never get enough momentum to change the way the world is.

    Go Team GB! God Save The Queen!

    Love you guys xxx

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