“What will Carole say? A diamond ring on her engagement finger, the single mum dating Duchess of Cambridge’s brother.”
The single mum in question is 33-year-old TV presenter Donna Air, who is reported to have been dating James Middleton since February this year.
“If these pictures are anything to go by,” the Mail said, “James Middleton’s future wife is a single mum from a working class Newcastle family.” The fucking horror of it!
“One still cannot help wondering what Mr Middleton’s mother Carole will say when she sees the sparkling diamond on her ring finger.”
Middleton, we are told, works for his parents business and runs a company of his own.
“He has had few girlfriends and tends to mix with people from his own social set.
“By contrast, Miss Air, the daughter of a builder … has a colourful romantic past.”
That’s ‘colourful romantic past’, Daily Mail-speak for ‘dirty fucking slag’.
The paper quotes her talking about failed relationships using plenty of ‘ain’ts’ and also tells how she had a child out of wedlock and likes to go for rich, older men.
“In 2001 she presented a TV show called Fifty Ways To Tease Your Lover, advising women to please their boyfriends with a striptease, pole dancing and by dressing as a schoolgirl.”
Up until now we’d always thought working class women just had sex to get up the duff for benefits and a council house but it seems these subhuman creatures also like to do it for pleasure as well! Well fucking blow me down! What must the neighbours think.
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Below this page three trash was a story about another Middleton: James’ sister Pippa.
The Mail has noticed that Pippa has become quite fond of a Pimm’s.
Writing in her ‘Wimbledon diary’ column for the Spectator magazine she said: “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy a Pimm’s or three when I’m watching a game … only pints will do.”
Naturally, because she’s Pippa Middleton, sister of a princess, her drinking habits aren’t questioned. If she was any ordinary working class woman (or Donna Air) we would’ve heard how she is just another example of Booze Britain, binge drinking at every opportunity, the result of broken families and absent parents.
Her column reveals how she likes to “nod off unnoticed after one too many Pimm’s in the sun”. AKA shameful ‘ladette’ passes out after marathon alcho-pop session.
Indeed it seems she’s been ‘fond of a Pimm’s’ for years now. Perhaps she needs checking in to the Priory or calling up Jeremy Kyle for an intervention. No, of course not, she’s upper-middle class almost-royalty, it’s just harmless fun.
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The Daily Mail’s anti-working class discrimination is vile, vindictive and as offensive as racism and homophobia.
But what else did we expect, it’s the Daily Mail isn’t it.